Tatiana Mikhailovna

Yesterday

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 13:30:52 -0500

The song came on my pandora station this morning and it brought me right back to my first memories of this song.

It was 1996 and life was tough. We moved back to Russia because we ran out of money to continue staying in England. My dad had hit a roadblock with his dissertation and was in the middle of a mid-life crisis. My mum was working and dad was writing. But sometimes he couldn’t write. It just wasn’t happening.

And it’s on those days that I remember he would go into their bedroom, pull out his coveted Beatles record and put on Yesterday. And he would have it repeat sometimes and for those reason I always found it incredibly melancholy and comforting at the same time.

Hearing him shuffle around the house to this tune made feel that someday everything would be ok because it used to be ok so it had to be ok again. Someday.

And I guess that even today that’s what gives me faith and hope. The fact that I believe in yesterday.

Things can and will be good again.

Style Me! Shelby wrote in with the following request: I was...

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 11:52:44 -0500

Style Me!

Shelby wrote in with the following request: I was wondering if you could create an outfit with white jeans, possibly a spring/summer outfit. I LOVE white jeans but I’m not too sure on how to wear them.

Top - Alice by Temperley
White jeans - J Brand
Sandals - YSL
Cuff - Tory Burch
Bangles - Forever 21
Hat - Banana Republic
Earrings - Banana Republic
Tote - Marc by Marc Jacobs

This is the perfect way to wear white jeans this spring and summer. You want to go with skinny jeans, heels, and a striped top is must!

P.S. Of course I had to add the pug! I wouldn’t go anywhere without her!

Zucchini, tomatoes, and fresh basil. The pizza was...

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 11:30:37 -0500

Zucchini, tomatoes, and fresh basil.

The pizza was divine.

Nothing like fresh veggies on a homemade pizza. It was the highlight of the night!

The aforementioned striped tops! Aren’t they pretty? I...

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 10:47:23 -0500

The aforementioned striped tops! Aren’t they pretty? I love the colors and the adorable little buttons.

I am going to wear them to death this spring and summer!

"You are most amazing and incredible daughter Mom and I could even dream about! I was praying that..."

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 10:07:32 -0500

“You are most amazing and incredible daughter Mom and I could even dream about! I was praying that you would have 10 fingers, but God gave us such a jewel!!!!!”

- Daddy

This man can make my day with just one sentence, as witnessed above. I love him more than I can put into words.

Good morning my little cuppycakes! Let’s do happy today? I...

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 08:43:57 -0500

Good morning my little cuppycakes!

Let’s do happy today? I am joyful, thankful, or just plain giddy about the following:

Coming home to the loveliest pink roses last night courtesy of my love.
The weekend is almost here!
Heartfelt and deep emails from M, my soul sister.
The delicious pizza I made yesterday. Nothing like kneading some dough to work out all your problems.
A lovely call from my dad that ended with “Give Kevin a nice big hug and kiss from me.” All together now..AWWWW!
Owning three of the same comfortable, soft, and perfect tees. Granted in different colors.
Being hooked on DJ Khaled’s new song All I Do Is Win. I cannot get enough. Give it a listen and just try and tell me those weren’t the best four minutes of your life.
Rocking a fab work outfit. Neon tee and MJ wool pants. Yes!!
Some hot crossed buns waiting to be microwaved. Mmmm….

Now it’s your turn! Tell me one thing you are grateful for or happy about today. I promise it will make you feel better.

Lord have mercy on us all.

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:11:49 -0500

Lord have mercy on us all.

Style Me! Holly wrote in with an incredibly fun request:...

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 16:46:00 -0500

Style Me!

Holly wrote in with an incredibly fun request: I’m going to the Kentucky Derby in May and can’t find “the perfect” dress. I’ve already purchased the hat- which I fell in love with right away. I just don’t know what to do about the dress. I’d like to keep it under 200.00 and I want something springy and comfortable but also fashionable and not boring.

Well my dear, I think I found just the dress for you!

Dress - French Connection
Shoes - Guess
Wallet - Comme des Garcons
Sunglasses - Balenciaga
Earrings - Betsey Johnson
Necklace - Anna Sheffield for Target

How fun is this? I want to wear it like now!

Here is a picture of her adorable hat!

Are you ready?

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 16:33:34 -0500

For something totally pretty?

One word: derby.

GPOYW: With Barby on my wedding day. This girl stole my heart...

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 15:02:11 -0500

GPOYW: With Barby on my wedding day. This girl stole my heart the day they brought her home from the hospital.

And Barby?

Thank you for reminding me today that I’ll always be your Svintus and you’ll be my Skvirrel.

xoxo

P.S. If there are any takers for the Skvirrel-Svintus story let me know!

Today I want to perfect this expression. I was 22, newly...

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 13:30:00 -0500

Today I want to perfect this expression.

I was 22, newly married, on my dream honeymoon, and felt like there was nothing I couldn’t do.

Since then life has been hard, we have had our ups and downs, we haven’t always gotten what we wanted, and at the same time we have gotten things we never thought we would get.

So today I don’t want to be bitter, tired, and down trodden anymore. I want to be grateful for the things I have been given, I want to believe that even though things are “down” right now they will come back up, and I want that smile back.

I don’t want to be that person that needs everything to be perfect in order to be happy. No I’m not on my honeymoon, or on one of the most beautiful islands on earth, but as Thich Nhat Hanh says “Every moment is a moment of happiness.”

So today “think happy, be happy” will be my motto. I tried yesterday but wasn’t strong enough, and that’s ok, but today I’m back.

I will do it. I will smile.

No matter what.

*We went to the Maldives for our honeymoon. It was a dream. It was perfect.

Do's and dont's

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 11:32:23 -0500

I don’t have:

A nice house.
The perfect job.
Expensive shoes.
A fancy car.
Financial stability.
Cable.
Expensive furniture.
Tons of friends.
Popularity.

I do have:

The love of my life who I wake up with every morning.
Great health.
Parents that love me more than I think is humanly possible.
The BEST dog in the whole world.
A sense of who I am.
A friend that knows when I need her without me telling her.
Enough money to pay our bills and even have a little something left for frivolities.
Real Housewives on Hulu.
A smart and supportive brother.
My faith that reminds me that He’s never let me down before and He won’t do it now.

How about you? What do you have that gets you through?

Sometimes

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 19:13:46 -0500

Sometimes all the positive thinking in the world won’t help.

Sometimes you just need to cry, and cry, and cry.

Sometimes laughing at how pathetic you are is the only thing that keeps you from crying.

Sometimes sleep is the best medicine.

Sometimes looking through old pictures can be just the thing to keep you going another day.

Sometimes all you can do is stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Sometimes you realize that life isn’t fair, easy, or fun.

And sometimes you just keep going anyway.

This makes me miss Russia so much. It’s lovely in the...

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 15:58:47 -0500

This makes me miss Russia so much. It’s lovely in the spring. I love how it smells, how it looks, and how it feels.

I always know I’m home the second we pull out of Sheremetyevo and drive down the birch lined highway.

That is when my soul is at peace.

Photo via undomesticgoddess via kitfield

On Relationships and Marriage: Single Friends

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 13:57:49 -0500

I received the following question the other day in response to my post about marriage and relationships: How do you balance hanging out with your single girlfriends when you are in a serious relationship?

This is a tough one. This very issued caused a lot of problems for us as a couple. Not so much on my end (due to many moves over the course of my life I don’t have a lot of girlfriends, really just one, Jackie, and she is married) but on my husband’s.

My husband has a very tight knit group of friends that he has known since preschool. They are incredibly loyal to each other and have dynamics similar to what you would find in a family (mother, father, and siblings). I went into the relationship knowing this. However, I did not know that our relationship would become such a divisive issue.

It started well enough. I tried my best to be friendly and fun. I invited them over for get togethers, I learned their interests (golf and other sports) and I tried to be as supportive as possible. However, the closer Kevin and I grew the more friction it caused between him and his friends.

It started to come to a head around the time we got engaged. We were together almost all the time (other than when we were in school or working) partly due to missing each other throughout the day but also because planning a wedding required a lot of time and work. They began to get offended that Kevin could no longer spend as much time with them.

We figured that with time and maybe after the wedding things would get better but they only got worse.

After the wedding our schedules got very hectic. We were both in school and working full time. Some nights we didn’t get to see each other until we rolled into bed. On the weekends we agreed that each side of our family would get one day, often that would leave us with only one day on the weekend to really spend with each other. It became harder and harder for me to accept golfing trips that I knew would last the whole day and by the time we would see each other it would be time to start the week all over again.

Things finally blew up. We were forced to go our separate ways, it was very tough for Kevin and it was painful for me to watch. However, since the incident he has been able to reconcile with them. They understood that with Kevin being in a marriage it was not realistic to put the same expectations on him as you would on a single friend. Kevin is elated that he can have his friends back and they have been incredibly respectful and accommodating with us.

The best recommendation I would give is be supportive of each other and your friends. However, be clear on who is your priority. Your actions speak louder than words and constantly “picking” your friends over your partner or spouse will leave them feeling alone and angry. Make sure that you are openly discussing this subject on a regular basis. Years into our relationship I found out how all this was wearing down Kevin and because he felt like the “guilty” partner he felt like he couldn’t share that and it was starting to overwhelm him. Even though you may be upset, and rightfully so, make sure you still hear your partner out because it is a struggle for them too.

When you become your own family things become very different than when you were simply “dating.” You have a mass of responsibilities that weren’t there before like bills, taking care of a home, emergencies, work, and others; you may have dealt with this while being single but now that you’re a family all of this doubles. For some couples it becomes hard to even carve out some time for each other not to mention friends and family. Time becomes very valuable and any therapist will tell you that time spent together and communication are key ingredients for a successful relationship.

Some people feel that merely living together is “enough” time spent together and use the majority of their free time for friends or “alone time.” My dad would always say “You can live with an armoir or even a goldfish but you cannot expect to just be “around” your spouse or partner and think that that will be enough to sustain you.” Relationships take work and daily investment. If consistently putting your relationship number one over friends, work, family, and entertainment is not something you are ready to do I would rethink being in one.

Without vigilant attention to your relationship your partner can just become a piece of furniture in your house. A serious relationship or marriage is a big commitment, it’s also a big change. It especially will change a lot of relationships around you. When you were young you spent all your time with your parents, siblings and friends. Ideally speaking your partner should be all of those things to you and more. Thus it is impossible to be able to think that you can continue devoting just as much time to all those other people.

Believe me, I struggle with this too. I have days when I would love to just shuffle around my parent’s house like I used to, take my mug of tea and go sit in their bed and talk until three in the morning but it just isn’t realistic anymore. I think the most important thing to realize that just because the circumstances may have changed and the amount of time you can spend has changed it does NOT mean that how you feel about them has changed. It is important to still make sure that they hear and see that they are still important and valuable to you. Whether it be a phone call a few times a week, regular emails, or a small gift here and there.

Something that I’ve found also helps is finding couples that are understanding of your new situation. Couples who do not have unrealistic expectations for you and are simply glad to see you whenever that is, whether once a month or once a week.

This is my personal experience, I am not promoting this as the way or the only way. I’m just saying that this is what has been our experience and what works for us.

How about you? How have you learned to balance your single friends and your relationship?

*As always you may email me your questions, write them in the comments, or use the “ask” feature. You may write in anonymous questions on weekends (fri-sun).

Ina’s Garlic Bread For the sides I made roasted asparagus...

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 10:34:04 -0500

Ina’s Garlic Bread

For the sides I made roasted asparagus and garlic bread.

6 large garlic cloves, chopped
1/4 cup chopped flat-leaf parsley
1/4 cup chopped fresh oregano leaves
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1/2 cup good olive oil
1 loaf ciabatta bread
2 tablespoons unsalted butter

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Place the garlic in the bowl of a food processor and process until minced. Add the parsley, oregano, salt and pepper and pulse twice.

Heat the olive oil in a medium saute pan and add the garlic mixture. Remove the pan from the heat.

Slice the ciabatta bread in half horizontally, and spread the butter on 1 half. Spread the garlic mixture on the other half of the bread, and put the halves together. Wrap the bread in aluminum foil.

Place the bread in the oven and bake for 5 minutes. Open the foil, and continue baking for an additional 5 minutes.

Best garlic bread I’ve ever had by far. It tasted so fresh and flavorful.

I made the asparagus according to this recipe.

Last night I made delicious pasta according to a recipe from the...

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 10:22:59 -0500

Last night I made delicious pasta according to a recipe from the chef at Nick & Toni’s. He was on Ina’s show a few weeks ago and I was salivating as I watched him cook up this divine sauce:

1/4 cup good olive oil
1 medium Spanish onion, diced
3 cloves of garlic, diced
1/2 tablespoon crushed red pepper flakes
1 1/2 tablespoons dried oregano
1 cup vodka
2 (28-ounce) cans peeled plum tomatoes
Kosher salt
1 pound penne pasta
1 to 2 cups heavy cream
4 tablespoons fresh oregano, chopped
Grated Parmesan cheese

Directions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Heat the olive oil in a large saute pan over medium heat, add the onions and garlic and cook for about 10 minutes until translucent. Add the red pepper flakes, dried oregano and vodka, and continue cooking until the mixture is reduced by half.

Meanwhile, drain the tomatoes through a sieve, crush them with your hands, and place them in a 5 quart oven proof pot or Dutch oven. Add the onions to the tomatoes and cover with a tight lid. Place the pot in the oven and cook for 1 1/2 hours. Remove the pot from the oven and let cool for 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, bring a large pot of salted water to a boil and cook the pasta according to package directions. Set aside.

Place the tomato mixture in a blender and puree in batches until the sauce is a smooth consistency, and return to the pot.

Reheat the tomato sauce and add enough heavy cream to make the sauce a smooth consistency. Add the fresh oregano and salt, to taste, and simmer for 5 minutes. Toss the sauce with the pasta and sprinkle with Parmesan cheese, to taste. Serve.

It was perfection, really. A very unique flavor and nothing beats a homemade sauce.

I also used my new pot! I decided to go ahead and give Giada’s line for Target a try. This braiser pan looked great and the price is hard to beat ($70). A similar one at Williams Sonoma is upwards of $250!!

So far I love it!

Style Me! The lovely Theodora of Losing Weight in the City...

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 09:44:00 -0500

Style Me!

The lovely Theodora of Losing Weight in the City requested that I help her with an “interview chic” outfit. No problem!

Jacket - Dorothy Perkins
Blouse - Topshop
Skirt - Karen Millen
Bag - Kate Spade
Shoes - Steve Madden
Watch - Michael Kors
Pen necklace - Vintage Inspired

Here’s the thing about dressing for an interview. You want to look like yourself. I made the mistake once of putting myself in a stuffy suit. I felt uncomfortable and awkward. If you’re not a suit person, don’t wear one! Also do not over accessorize and keep it fairly simple. Play with textures and colors but make sure to balance it out.

For this particular outfit the orange blouse will only be peeking out from under the blazer, the skirt is fun but conservative enough, the polka dots on the bag add a lighthearted feel to a boring tote, and I kept the accessories simple as to not overpower the outfit.

As always you can find similar items to these at places like Express or Target if these specific items are not in your price range.

Hope you liked it!

Completely obsessed with this top I got at A&F this weekend....

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 08:36:00 -0500

Completely obsessed with this top I got at A&F this weekend. Months ago I swore I would never go in this heinous store again and yet I continually find myself liking things there. Like this top.

It’s absolutely fabulous. Soft, light, and the buttons in the back create a really flattering shape.

Did I mention it’s $12? I think I might need to pick up some more asap.

On relationships and marriage

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 16:53:26 -0500

I have noticed recently that there are many of you that enjoy and appreciate when I share about our relationship and what makes it work and also what doesn’t work.

Relationships and reconciling them is a big “crisis” for people ages 20 to 30. It is one of the biggest things that we as adults must figure out. So it is not a coincidence that there are many who want to be in a serious relationship, are in one and might be considering taking it to the next level, or are recently married. There are a lot of concerns that come with this.

I am no expert by any means but I am on a journey with my husband and we are learning daily what it takes to maintain a relationship and keep it healthy.

I would like to open my blog up to deeper and further discussions on this subject. What are you wrestling with? What have you learned that works really well for you? What are some mistakes you would avoid? What are some problem areas for you?

Let’s share and help each other navigate this complex but wonderful journey!

Email me, write in the comments, or take advantage of the ask feature! I understand that some of you would appreciate being able to ask anonymously so I will open up the ask feature for anonymous questions every weekend Friday to Sunday.*

So what do you think? Shall we do this?

*I simply ask that you be respectful and kind.